I was reminded this morning about the only certainty in life: there are only two things we can control – our thoughts and our actions.
So, what does that mean in this moment?
Well, I offer a question as answer to that question: what are we allowing to enter our being that influences our thoughts and actions today?
We are constantly blasted with information through the media and the news, a Facebook post, a tweet, an opinion of another about us, stories we tell about our worth or value.
The process: Information is brought into our awareness from some external source. We formulate thoughts in reaction to that information. From there, because our body and mind are really not separate, the thoughts inform our feelings and emotions creating a visceral response to the information; we feel it in our bones. From this experience, we form our beliefs about the world or circumstance or person.
We react from our beliefs. So, how do we control our thoughts and actions? I offer that by practicing mindfulness and being aware of how we are responding to outside stimulus is a start. First, simple observation without judgment. We always are at choice. Slow down then stop. Breathe. Question.
“What do I need to know in this moment? What is mine to do?”
“Am I in radical alignment with my integrity?”
This past Sunday, my husband and I were at a restaurant for lunch and happened to be watching the US Open. The men’s number one seated player, Djkokovic, was injured followed a few moments later by a temper tantrum, which was not the first of the day. In the second tantrum, not looking, he smacked the ball toward the back wall, hitting and injuring a line referee. To me, this illustrated how his thoughts, whatever they were, informed his behavior. Bad behavior, to boot. And, just like that, he was done, complete, finished, out (actually, after great deliberation), because of his inability to control his thinking and actions.
For me, it was a reminder of how easy it is to forget to stay present and mindful to be in control of our behavior. That’s why we practice. We get better and become more agile, enabling ourselves to be responsive, not reactive, mindful, not reflexive.
Today, what will you do in the quiet of your mind to be in control of your thoughts that lead to actions?
Please remember: You are valued and valuable. Be well.
PS, if interested, here is Djkokovic’s apology, for better or worse. You can also find the replay of the event on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7SVmwNta_s).
“This whole situation has left me really sad and empty. I checked on the lines person and the tournament told me that thank God she is feeling ok. I’m extremely sorry to have caused her such stress. So unintended. So wrong…As for the disqualification, I need to go back within and work on my disappointment and turn this all into a lesson for my growth and evolution as a player and human being. I apologize to the US Open tournament and everyone associated for my behavior. I’m very grateful to my team and family for being my rock support, and my fans for always being there with me. Thank you and I’m so sorry." — Novak Djokovic, via Instagram